The Strength of Self-Effacing Virtues in Interpersonal Relationships
As we are in the season of lent, let us meditate upon the important virtues of self-effacing healthy interpersonal relationships in our Christian journey of life.
Interpersonal relationships are the fabric of human society. Whether within families, friendships, workplaces, or faith communities, how we relate to one another defines our character and influences the world around us. The Bible teaches that true strength is found in self-effacing virtues—those qualities that shift attention from self to others. These virtues – forgiveness, graciousness and courtesy, gentleness, and humility -are often misunderstood as weaknesses. However, in reality, they reflect divine strength, maturity, and an unwavering commitment to love and peace.
Forgiveness: The Power to Heal and Restore:
Forgiveness is one of the most potent forces in human relationships. It frees both the forgiver and the forgiven, breaking the cycle of bitterness and resentment. The Bible commands us to forgive, not just as an act of mercy, but as a reflection of God’s forgiveness toward us. Ephesians 4:32 encourages us: “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” This Scripture reminds us that forgiveness is not merely a human obligation but a divine calling. Jesus Himself set the ultimate example when, even on the cross, He prayed, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). Forgiveness does not condone wrongdoing; rather, it acknowledges human fallibility and chooses grace over vengeance. In doing so, it fosters reconciliation and peace.
Graciousness and Courtesy: The Beauty of Kindness –
Graciousness and courtesy stem from a heart that seeks to honor others, no matter the circumstances. In a world where harshness and self-promotion are often celebrated, choosing grace is a radical act of love. The Apostle Paul urges believers in Colossians 4:6, “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” This verse highlights the importance of speaking with wisdom, kindness, and respect. A courteous attitude acknowledges the dignity of others, fostering an atmosphere of mutual respect and goodwill. Whether through kind words, acts of service, or simply treating others with dignity, graciousness makes relationships flourish.
Gentleness: Strength Under Control –
Gentleness is often perceived as weakness, but in truth, it is strength restrained by love. Biblical gentleness does not mean passivity but rather a measured and thoughtful response, even in challenging situations. Proverbs 15:1 teaches, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Jesus Himself described His character as gentle and humble (Matthew 11:29), demonstrating that gentleness is a mark of divine wisdom and authority. Gentleness diffuses tension, de-escalates conflicts, and nurtures trust. It does not mean avoiding confrontation but rather addressing issues with love and patience.
Humility: The Key to True Greatness –
Humility is foundational to all other virtues. It does not mean thinking less of oneself but thinking of oneself less. A humble heart does not seek recognition but focuses on serving others. Jesus exemplified humility when He washed His disciples’ feet, teaching them that true leadership is servanthood (John 13:12-17). The Apostle Paul echoes this in Philippians 2:3-4, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” Humility enables us to listen, learn, and build relationships on a foundation of respect rather than pride. It allows us to acknowledge our own weaknesses while celebrating the strengths of others.
The world often equates strength with dominance and self-assertion, but the Bible presents a different paradigm—one where true strength lies in serving, forgiving, and loving selflessly. Forgiveness heals, graciousness uplifts, gentleness soothes, and humility unites. These virtues do not diminish us; rather, they make us more Christ-like, turning the spotlight on the needs of others rather than our own ambitions. As we cultivate these virtues in our lives, we reflect God’s love and grace, building relationships that honor God and bless those around us. Let us, therefore, embrace these self-effacing virtues, not as weaknesses, but as the greatest strengths we can possess in our journey of faith and community.
By Dr. Hrangthan Chhungi
A/D Church, Public Relations and Resource Mobilisation
The Visit of Rev. Samuel Sanusi and Mr. Yemi Olayiwola to the Bible Society of India on March 19, 2025
We were honored to welcome Rev. Samuel Sanusi, the General Secretary and CEO of the Bible Society of Nigeria, along with his colleague Mr. Yemi Olayiwola, Head of Distribution and Programmes, during their tour visit to India on March 19, 2025. Their visit to the Bible Society of India Central Office was a moment of great joy and fellowship.
The day began with a special morning prayer where both guests were warmly felicitated with a shawl and a memento as a token of friendship and respect. This was followed by a meaningful time of interaction and fellowship with the Heads of Departments at BSI, where ideas, experiences, and mutual encouragement were shared. The conversation was lively, cordial, and spiritually enriching. Later in the day, our guests were taken on a sightseeing tour of Bangalore city, allowing them to experience the local culture and heritage. It was a privilege to host Rev. Samuel and Mr. Yemi, and we thank God for the opportunity to connect and strengthen our bond in the shared mission of Bible ministry.